Truth be told, I have been a mess most of this year. My mental health has been rocky, even as I have tried to take care of it in other ways. Depression and anxiety are two things I have always struggled with, and recently it has been hard to keep my head up. As a transgender woman the political climate has been getting to me, sure, but on a personal level my battle with this corporeal form has been wearing me down far more. I know you might be thinking none of this has to do with the concert review you were expecting, but bear with me, because it is exactly why this show ended up mattering so much.
Transitioning is not something that happens overnight, it takes quite some time. As it stands today it has been three years since I decided to pursue my transition, and lately it has all been getting to me. Coming to terms with not seeing as much feminization as I hoped for has been difficult. Dealing with the fallout from former friends and family has been quite isolating. I recently ripped my transgender pride flag off my bedroom wall in a fit of pure frustration. I know that it may be a small thing, but that flag represents some of the only self expression I have at home.
(Elizabeth Ellis)
The depressive state I was in was so bad that I almost canceled the whole trip and stayed home. Thankfully, I did not. Deep down I knew I would feel even worse if I had not gone and had not tried. I was determined to see the night through.
Saturday afternoon finally rolled around, and it was time to hit the road for St. Louis, Missouri. What started as a partly cloudy drive turned into a gloomy and overcast one as I approached the city on Interstate 64. Thankfully there were not too many unhinged drivers on the road, so I made it safely to St. Louis in one piece.
Red Flag Concert Hall was the venue for the show, which I had been to previously to cover another set of artists just a month prior. Just like my previous visit to the concert hall, parking at the venue was a quick and pain free process. It was a cold and misty evening outside of Red Flag. The thought of speaking with others in line crossed my mind, but it was so cold that I opted to spend my time shivering instead.
The doors to the venue opened and we all started to shuffle in. I briefly held up the line, mostly because my ticket needed to be scanned from a different app, but also to obtain my photo pass I was graciously given for the event. There was definitely a sense of déjà vu walking back into Red Flag Concert Hall, but right off the bat it was clear that the crowd and energy were different this time. The vibe in the air was less prestigious than the last visit and more casual, as if we were all there to hang out instead of being there strictly for the music.
Seeing Blessthefall here in October felt more like going to a big stadium concert. That Saturday felt much more intimate, like a local bar show. Maybe that difference came from my new familiarity with the place, but I felt it nonetheless. This was my first outing to a proper hardcore style show, so I did not know what to expect really, but it was surprising to see a more diverse and younger spread of men and women. A plethora of belts, studs, chains, and battle vests adorned the concertgoers I saw around me. It honestly made me feel a little underdressed for the occasion in my plain t shirt and jeans. After some time had passed at the venue, the first band began to load in and get ready to play.
The first group up was Sawed Off, a band local to the area. They were a solid showing of what the STL hardcore scene has to offer. They were tight, had excellent aggression in their sound, and set the stage for the remainder of the evening. Frontman Martin Ruppert did a fantastic job hyping the audience up for the next few hours of heavy metal carnage we were in for. I must admit I am not familiar with their work, but regardless their performance was crushing.
This was my first proper time shooting a concert with a photo pass, and it was a total trip taking photos up front past the barricades. It was both awesome and a little nerve wracking at first being right up in front of the stage. Even though all bands played for thirty minutes that night, it felt as if Sawed Off vanished from the stage as quickly as they arrived. Maybe that is just a curse of being an opener, or maybe it is because my head still was not quite in the game at this point in the evening.
Bastardane was up next. They are a band I am not super familiar with, but they were a nice change of pace and a lot of fun. The band stood out to me for not being a hardcore act, opting instead for a classic heavy metal sound and vibe. Castor Hetfield was on drums and did most of the singing for the set, which is not something you see often from many bands. His performance was excellent alongside bassist Luca Badan, who also did a great job keeping rhythm and interacting with the audience.
By this point I was getting into the swing of things snapping frames. I knew I had taken some good photos, and I was having a lot of fun. The highlight of Bastardane’s performance for me was their song “Guilt Trip,” as it is one of the only songs I knew going into the evening. After opening acts Sawed Off and Bastardane wrapped their sets, anticipation was in the air for the two remaining bands.
Hushed voices spoke eagerly for the next act, as the time had come for No Cure to take the stage. Members of Bastardane could be seen helping to set up for the show under the dim red light. With a fake out opening sampled from the beginning of Ozzy Osbourne’s “Mr. Crowley,” No Cure blazed into the scene with scorn and fury. Everybody’s performance was wild and the band incredible.
The harmonized guitar segments between Aesop Mongo and Kyle Ray ruled, and the frantic presence and vocals from frontman Blaythe Steuer were completely fanatical. Together everyone perfectly captured the raw aggression heard on No Cure’s studio work. That night my poser ass also got to learn what a “two step” is. It is handy to know, but I do not know that you will see me doing one in the mosh pit anytime soon.
A small detail I adored from the performance was the No Cure branded tapestries the band had hanging over their amplifier cabinets. It is a cool touch that I cannot recall seeing another band do before. The highlights of the show included “Parasite (2 Shots),” “Hang me from the Bible Belt,” and the band’s titular anthem “No Cure Straight Edge Die Slow Fuck You.” These have been some of my favorite tracks from them so far, and hearing them played live was an experience I will not soon forget.
Next up was 200 Stab Wounds, and they were as extreme as they were loud. I must admit that I could not understand a word frontman Steve Buhl was saying during the performance, but his vocals were still sinister and brooding. The guitar and bass work were another solid showing of excellent heavy music.
After the first two tracks from 200 Stab Wounds, I exited the barricade for the last time of the show and covered the remainder of the concert from the crowd as best as I could. The highlight of this set for me was their song “Itty Bitty Pieces,” as it was one of the few tracks from the band I knew. At one point I found myself just watching the crowd move as much as the band, which felt like its own kind of spectacle. After thirty minutes of heavy duty headbanging the show was over, 200 Stab Wounds left the stage, the lights came back up, and everybody began shuffling toward the exit or the merch stands.
I am not writing just because of how good the music was that evening, but also because of how it left me feeling. I felt a sense of community and representation from both the bands and the crowd. Being in an environment like that with so many individuals into the same sort of music as me was awesome. I regret that I did not make a stronger effort to socialize with anybody, but ultimately I was just happy to be there.
(Elizabeth Ellis)
Seeing fellow trans woman Aesop Mongo absolutely shredding on stage left a mark on me that night. At a time where I was at a new low with my own transition, seeing her gave me hope that I can make it through this rough patch in my life and someday feel like myself again.
Everyone that Saturday who performed was incredibly talented, creative, and hard working. With so many great bands active in the scene, there may not be a better time to be into hardcore and heavy music than right now. The musicians, touring crew, and everyone else working at Red Flag deserves recognition for bringing an event like this to fruition.
Overall Sawed Off, Bastardane, No Cure, and 200 Stab Wounds were phenomenal, and I am glad that I went. Ultimately I think that No Cure stole the show that Saturday. They were the tightest, best sounding, highest energy act of the night, and they had probably the most interaction from the crowd. Regardless, I would gladly see any of these bands perform again.
It is not even just the music, it is the sense of belonging and community. Here were a bunch of freaks and outcasts, and I mean that in a loving way, getting together and doing something fun and amazing for each other, and I got to be a part of that. You should go see any of the bands here if given the opportunity. That night reminded me of the importance of being yourself and made me want to not give up at a time where giving up was all I could think about.
I went into the night downbeat and distraught, but left the show feeling inspired to keep on keeping on. It did not magically cure my depression forever, but it cracked something open that I desperately needed. When I got back home late that evening I dug my trans pride flag out from where it had been thrown earlier that week and put it back on the wall. I know it is a small thing, but having that reminder on the wall matters to me. I am going to continue trying my best to be the version of myself I want to put out into the world.
If you have a concert you have been thinking about going to, big or small, my advice is to just go do it. You never know what you might get out of the experience, whether it be some good live music, a new band t shirt, or a sense of belonging in a time when you need it.
Keri • Nov 21, 2025 at 8:11 am
Concerts are community! Annoyed with myself I missed No Cure though.